Self Deprecation.

Hello to both of the people reading this. (if more than two people are reading this then let me say, Hi to esteemed guests. As always here is a vlog from some hippy named Jimmy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5gN_JbJqCM

No Jimmy I have no idea what your dream means. Maybe prosperity in your life coming during a dark period or something. I have no clue...

Today's quote of the day: "I'd never be a part of any club that would have me as a member." Groucho Marx.

The reason I chose this one is because to me it represents self deprecation at it's finest. I mean he's saying that if the club would accept people like him it must not be a good club. I've been on a self hating rampage Which has led to me producing some of my best written work. (Note: in the unlikely event you want to read this 1) I know many good psychiatrists to fix that and 2) Comment me and tell me (Yeah i know, not happening.) I find it kinda sad that I can only write something I really like when I either A) Am writing about how inferior I am to other people, B) Writing about how all hope is lost, or C) Writing those little love poems to "My Lady" that she will never read (Note: If you haven't guessed, My Lady is out of reach for me.) nor does she really give a damn. (Why should she?)

I think the reason i hate myself so much is because...well actually I don't know. Logically, I don't Think I'm that terrible of a guy, but I feel like I am a worthless meat sack, forced to be around people who are highly better than me, and, for some reason, decide to interact with me. (Note: For those people better than me who interact with me reading this: Love you guys.)

I was once told in HS that once I got a GF I would be a lot happier. Well that was...(thinks about it) 3-4 years ago. Needless to say I still am not very happy (and still kind of lonely). Speaking of which, it's amazing to me that i can feel lonely when surrounded by people. For some reason I feel like the outsider in a lot of groups, even my own: have no clue why. I mean I try in groups to be social, but I feel awkward (I'm told this is normal but still it kinda cripples me). Oh well, I'm done ranting. Go check out The Hippy's vlog if you haven't.

Aloha Oe.